Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize