I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
