Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
