I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
