walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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