And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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