i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
