Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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