Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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