you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
