I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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