Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
