So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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