Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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