we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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