I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
