Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
