my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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