where does the pee come out of this thing
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
