did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
