She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
