At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We don't watch enough power rangers
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
