I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize