Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
