I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
