My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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