so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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