sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Randomize
