Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
