i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
