Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
