"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just tell him i said nine months
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
