You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
