I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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