Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
