I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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