I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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