I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
