I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
