i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
should my penis look like a turkey
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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