Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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