i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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