Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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