he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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