at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
