Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
