the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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