but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize