that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
