we have pet lesbian snakes
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
