so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
