Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
