His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
