Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
