I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
FUCK WHALES
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
