Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
As shirtless as possible
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
