At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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